Script XXII

More often than not, people see things happening is a diverse perspective, even if they are as close to each other as possible.

More often than not, issues observed at such close distance are never discussed... what could there be to discuss? Years come and go and we realise how diverse those points of view always were.

In a very good/positive way, I learned about that today.
Typing. Ain't that something?



I like going to sleep feeling like this.

"Days were full... they took so long.
Years were empty... they went so fast.
Or was my mind elsewhere?
Or were you just not there?

On the first, as expected, all was new.
But you had to leave.
You left me there,
And gone somewhere.

On the eighth, my words failed me.
Suddenly, I had to leave.
I stood there,
Couldn't move anywhere.

As I began to count, days became years...

To this day, I never knew we could make amends.
Now, still not knowing, I like the odds."

- by Hyug Badox, just now.

Yin, Yang and the other

The day I'm referring to is a birthday. Yours.



"I had to learn how to live with distance.
I had to learn so much, little did I know.

The first day meant absence.
You never called, I could not reach you.
Things have not be that different since.

The first day also meant pain.
You were away, I was counting tears.
None was our fault, no complaint.

After the good days, punishment was inflicted.
After a good day, feelings were neglected.

On someone's birthday, our day one was our last.
We we still to find our balance."

- in "Yin, Yang and the other", by Hyug Badox

What will ever be

Teenagers have flirts, crushes, passions... but, once in a while, they feel that their relationship may be deeper than that, although they may be too young and immature.

More often than not, it all ends.
Bitterly and unexpectedly.

But the memory of an intense feeling remains clear... and also a number of deeply felt and intense moments, when hearts galloped like never before. And yet, they were nothing but kisses in the rain, now long gone.



"With one distant warm grin,
You show me (that) you also know,
There's no 'what could have been',
The good remains... the bad, not so.

It's only faint,
It is long gone,
That feeling of sudden loss,
The day you were there no more.
In brief innocuous words,
We will never admit... the tears cried.
Us two will never show,
What once was... our love denied.

I try not to think of it,
For now, (it's) only good to know,
You're doin' ok...
That's what I see, what you show.

(An) awake of the senses,
I cannot forfeit,
All this a natural, perhaps eternal,
Bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.
And as it was beginning to grow,
It'll end... unless we otherwise decide.
Looking back, we'll never know,
What will ever be... our love denied."

      - in "What Will Ever Be", by Hyug Badox

Now's Not The Time

Now, it's too soon for the aftermath... but pain is counsel. I don't welcome it, nor I want it to be the dominant feeling, but it is.

No death shall come out of this.
A rebirth is more likely.

This is a sequence of feelings (and/or events).
But I'm sure many have felt (and/or experienced) it before and many will feel (and/or experience) it sometime in their lives, even if not the whole of it.

A road has to be taken.
Not all is for us to choose.

But we can try.

"A day has gone and I moved too soon.
Then again, I haven't...
But I let it show
Now I'm afraid that you don't see,
I gave my all, and more,
All that I did know.

A week has gone and you is all I think of.
I accidently see you...
You're as ice, so cold.
Now I'm afraid I'll never learn,
Who you really were.
What did I know?

I will follow my own path (but),
It will take time to see...
There's no point in the aftermath.

A month has gone and it's all the same.
I found distractions...
Haven't moved on, it shows.
Now I'm afraid to never feel again,
What I once felt,
And did let you know.

A year has gone but the taste is there.
The bitter, the sour...
The sweet that once (we) were.
I'm not afraid to be alone again,
It's grown a habit.
One I know you know.

I've followed my own path (and),
It begins to be clear to me...
Now's not the time for the aftermath.

More is yet to come.
Yet, things can't be undone.

Separate worlds, lifes and paths,
All is a journey, not a destiny...
Never will either do the aftermath."

- by Hyug Badox, just now.

Today is tomorrow...

Wrote this yesterday and it makes perfect sense.

The expression "today... is tomorrow" is used by Bill Murray's character in "Groundhog Day" when he finally comes through the night to see 6:01am the next day.



I feel like writting again.
I feel restless again.
Enter music.
Enter words.

"I bought the tickets and chose the seats
Two by two, we sat, all perfect fits
I had her in sight
Holded her hand tight
The film's quality, subpar
We were to become not what we are

A long time ago I was dubbed the mogwai
Few came to know and fewer knew why
She could lose my sight
Never fed me after midnight
It became a nick, an avatar
Less than what it once was, by far

I chose the life I have... and have had
Not the same as there and then
Nostalgic, yet not sad
I know now it was bound to end"

          by Hyug, just now

Just found my Vera

I never ever had negative feelings towards you. We were only too young to grasp what others expected us to be.

But I was never the same again.

"(...)
Remember how she said that
We would meet again
Some sunny day?
(...)
What has become of you?
Does anybody else here
Feel the way I do?"

in "Vera", by Pink Floyd

Step by step

"Step by step, are we moving anywhere ?"

      - by Hyug Badox sitting at work

A step forward...

"Sometimes, we have to take a step forward.
It always takes some time".

Well, I can add some points to this sentence that wander my mind in this special day.

How should one feel one he/she realizes that sometimes a step back is necessary in order to be possible to take two steps forward ?... It is not so rare to find one self in that situation. And that is also a step forward.

It is very difficult to take a step (or leap) forward through adversity or ignorance. Meaning what ?!... How many times does a teenager prefer to stay in doubt (not aware of what the truth or reality is) afraid of being consider uncool ?! Didn't we all feel this in our youth ?... This (reminding me of "The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole") must have happened to everyone.

How can we ease the steps taken forward by others ?
That, I would really love to know. I think I know the recipe (building confidence, trust, etc.) but it's a fact that it's different for each and every one of us.

Another step tomorrow.
I'll be bringing the past back again.

Holding hands

The date is similar to today's.
Only 16 years ago.

"A word is said,
A word not sad.
The time is set.

A hand is held,
But not for help.
All is well.

The pictures pass, we feel unrest
The ocean line is not in sight
But when we face, eye to eye
We can feel hearbeats collide

Yet, time is now, we both know how
The ocean line frees our mind
And when we face, when we approach
The boy and girl know this is more

And weekdays come, each one alone
All the time we spent is gone
And as we face, once more, again,
We're just too young to see the end.

One other feeling,
Not ours, is building.
It sets the final act."

      by Hyug Badox, just now

Reason number one

The reason (she) why I write.
The #1 reason. Today, 16 years later... it (she) clearly is the reason.

But then, I was "only" the liar.