You don't know it's a dream

Dreams are dissociated with reality but, sometimes, they touch reality with the tiniest details that cause you enough doubt to think "didn't that really happen?" or feel "this was sooooo real!" just after you wake up.

"You don't know it's a dream, as I enter the room.
It's not just as it seems, I think, I presume.
As I take my seat,
I don't know it either,
We both feel the heat,
A desire that won't wither.

Someone's there, and I look away.
You get distracted, distressed, astray.
As I return to the room I've left,
You're nowhere to be found.
My mind, in absolute unrest,
Finds you, somehow.

With a fainting strength I can't command (absence of control),
Your hands, trembling... your face, unseamed.
As I stretch my arm and give you my hand (and my all),
You don't know it's a dream."

- in "You Don't Know It's a Dream", written in the middle of the night

Together Alone

These days, we need to cultivate distance. Physical distance to the ones we love, the ones we care about, the ones who makes us happy, the ones who makes us laugh.
The world is a strange place to be in now.

"I could see you everyday, but now's not the time to.
I won't push you away, but it feels like so.
But you can't cope with distance... like an obsession.
Now that we drift apart... you seem to question.

You don't think of the future, everything is now.
But this separation will pay off in the long run.
Yet you don't seem to care... in your own reason,
It's just another day under the sun.

This world is a strange place to be in today.
Our words can't express what our eyes say.
Your smile in my mind is the inspiration I look for,
It's more than nothing... so much more.

No matter the distance, together or alone,
In you, the strength my souls feeds on,
As time slowly passes, we begin to grasp...
The herculean mission we will take upon."

- in "Together Alone", a friends' challenge, after a video call.

Within Me

Talking about life with a friend a couple of weeks ago, about life, about loneliness (self imposed or not), relationships, and also that feeling of helpless anger regarding world politics solely based on the economy and with little to no respect for nature and the human kind itself.
Then, the coronavirus situation takes over... and it becomes almost too easy to draw a parallel.

"It's so late that it's early morning...
Thoughts flood my troubled mind.
I know I'm here by my own decision,
Peace is what I can't seem to find.
And I stay...
Still astray.

It's not my fate to find no destiny...
I have no faith other than in myself.
I know I lose myself alone in thoughts,
But I don't find company in no one else.
And I stay...
Far and away.

I won't tread new fields... (for now)
I'm confined to these 4 walls, you see.
Unrevealed, concealed (somehow)
Inside my own prison, within me.

It's the time to silently plan and act...
For there is much to prepare for.
I know I won't waste time with anger,
As I feel the urge to enter that stage door.
Unlike today...
I won't stay .

I won't tread new fields... (for now)
I'm confined to these 4 walls, you see.
Unrevealed, concealed (somehow)
Inside my own prison, within me.

After the storm goes away...
When reason prevails...

I will tread new fields... (that day)
I'll break free of these walls, you see.
Revealed, once free (someday)
Outside in the open, as ever within me."

- in "Within Me", a double-entendre composition

Give up

"I gave up on sleeping when I was 19,
There was too much to be done,
I didn't do it right away,
I lost myself along the way,
But I came home.
But I found home.

I gave up on you way too soon
You never knew how I felt,
I felt I had gone astray,
I found myself along the way,
But I stayed home.
Left you alone.

I gave up on us...
Too soon, I now see.
Don't give up...
Don't give up on me."

- by Hyug Badox, in "Give Up"

You make the cold night beautiful

"It is but a moment while our eyes meet,
Had it been (for) a second, all would have been revealed,
I look up, you look elsewhere,
This was not supposed to happen
The hunger is there, we become aware
All in a second's fraction.

It'll be but a lifetime until we meet again,
Had it been tomorrow, it would have been too late,
For I can't do without you,
It is all is bound to happen,
This new feeling we share, we dare
To call it more than attraction.

And as the day ends,
We stay as mere friends.
And then, you turn back,
You kiss me goodnight once more,
And, just like that,
You make the cold night beautiful."

- by Hyug Badox, in "You make the cold night beautiful"

Fishermen's bay

Dwelling in a social media platform, I stumbled upon a photo of a woman, a singer, slightly older than I am but who also - as myself, I say - looks quite younger and youthful than what the ID card may surely accuse.

Leaning from the tiny wall above the beach, we exchanged simple comments, but those which reveal that our separate experiences there go beyond the bay itself... and experiences are just that and as much as that, so much more than mere visual captures, so much more than instant photos taken by our eyes and minds.

I immediately wrote down the adjectives we employed and the rest became obvious.

"As I read your ever young girl lips...
The flowery balconies sway,
The coloured houses stay.

To the rhythm of uncompromised steps...
Through sunny alleys and narrow streets,
Our eyes and paths never meet.

Not even the cement peer changes it...
You're at home here, kept at bay,
You're just there, (yet) just too far away.

Everyone's a tourist here, always...
The accordion sound new to the young and old,
While the anchored boats conceal stories untold.

I look back at the Grand Hotel...
I can't see the village behind,
Nor the one I'm looking to find.

To the right, the fort hides the ocean...
But the merry-go-round song is still there,
Eager to fly anyone anywhere.

Still we like it here...
For each breeze that passes us by,
Fills each one of us, still alone, in our own time."

- in "Fishermen's bay", by Hyug Badox


Quotes:
Post: Varandas floridas, fachadas coloridas e as ruas apertadinhas que me levam até à Baía dos Pescadores. Gosto da energia deste lugar.
Comm3: É isso mesmo... encapsulada entre o cais de cimento que fecha a praia, o mercado que surge/nasce na calçada, o Hotel Baía que esconde Cascais e o Forte que não deixa ver o oceano, porque é que gostamos da Praia dos Pescadores? Não sei, mas gostamos.
Comm6: Já para não falar no carrossel que nos embala a caminho da Baía, nas pedaladas das gaivotas contornando os barquinhos dos pescadores, nas vozes roucas com cheirinho a Bossa Nova acompanhadas das suas guitarras espalhadas pelas ruas soalheiras, no acordião que acompanha a nossos petiscos e nos traz a Amelie até Cascais.

Settlements

Going back into one's dreams, so much can surface.
Accepting settlements made may not be easy.

"Embracing you is my denial...
And I would do it more often,
If you we mine.

Silence is my punishment...
Could I ever write you a poem,
Words of mine?

Will ever a surrender occur?
Or a love whisper or murmur?
I know not ever...
Your word is your trade
Speaking of which,
All the settlements were long made.

Departing is a settlement...
Wish I wouldn't leave this often,
And you were mine."

- in "Settlements", by Hyug Badox

Script XXII

More often than not, people see things happening is a diverse perspective, even if they are as close to each other as possible.

More often than not, issues observed at such close distance are never discussed... what could there be to discuss? Years come and go and we realise how diverse those points of view always were.

In a very good/positive way, I learned about that today.
Typing. Ain't that something?



I like going to sleep feeling like this.

"Days were full... they took so long.
Years were empty... they went so fast.
Or was my mind elsewhere?
Or were you just not there?

On the first, as expected, all was new.
But you had to leave.
You left me there,
And gone somewhere.

On the eighth, my words failed me.
Suddenly, I had to leave.
I stood there,
Couldn't move anywhere.

As I began to count, days became years...

To this day, I never knew we could make amends.
Now, still not knowing, I like the odds."

- by Hyug Badox, just now.